Once A Narc Picks Up On Your Vulnerabilities
(Surviving Narcissism, Dr. Les Carter, 1/11/2020)
Narcissists look for your vulnerabilities – they are robbers. They look to you for narcissistic supply. They have the need to be superior and want to rob you of your inner stability, decency and goodness. When they you to a place where you are acting unstable this allows them to come around and say they are so much better than you. Their game of robbery is ongoing. They operate with a strong control agenda. They want to make sure you do according to their bidding so they can go away feeling like they have been empowered by your presence in their life. They are VERY entitled. They WANT to be special. THEY HAVE TO BE SPECIAL. They have to know that they are the best in the crowd, Top Gun so-to-speak. So, if they can steal your goodness from you this is what they will do. In addition, they are very needy.
6 Ways You Might Be Vulnerable To The Narcissist:
- You want life to be logical (Your need for logic becomes a vulnerability)
- Your need for respect
- You are financially compromised (By the Narc or otherwise)
- You have a lack of consistent boundaries
- Your reputation is very important to you
- An aversion to conflict
What are they trying to rob you of? Your sense of security. They are trying to rob you of your emotional status. They are trying to rob you of your internal self-respect, and through these kinds of means they think: ‘That’s how I gain dominance over you.’
So, knowing this how to we respond? Firstly, whey you realize that they are trying to rob you of these things – DON’T TAKE IT PERSONAL. It can feel like a personal vendetta. It’s not so much about WHO you are but WHAT THEY are. It’s a reflection of the narc. Try to maintain your objectivity about that person (narc). This is just their game. However, it is important that you have your security, self-respect, dignity well established on the inside so that when they try to come in an take this you will NOT be complicit. Don’t let them determine if your going to be okay. BE SEPARATE FROM THAT PERSON’S PROCLAMATIONS. In addition, DON’T PRESS YOUR AGENDA – DON’T TRY TO MAKE THEM SEE THE LIGHT – it’s an exercise in futility.
Recognize that your internal calm firmness and steadiness is what is going to CLOSE YOUR VULNERABILITIES to the Narcissists’ attempt to gain dominance and rob you of YOU! You will NOT have a close relationship with this person – it will be limited, you need to accept this as hard as it may be.
In your mind think: ‘You’ll have to look elsewhere for supply.’ ‘I’m not letting you IN.’
*** JUST KNOW THAT THE STRONGER YOU ARE FROM THE INSIDE OUT, THE LESS VULNERABLE YOU’RE GOING TO BE WHEN YOU HAVE THAT PREYING NARCISSIST COMING ALONG – DON’T LET THEM STEAL YOU FROM YOU! ***