As we learn how to identify narcissism, it is helpful to know what the textbooks say about the topic. But to keep it real, Dr. Les Carter draws from his experience as a therapist, listing 15 of the most common lifestyle patterns that the textbooks don’t mention, but which will give you a crystal clear picture of what narcissism looks like in everyday circumstances. Check out the >>> video <<< from Dr. Carter.
>>> ALSO make sure you read the listed patterns below with OUR personal insight/commentary. <<<
Off Label Patterns (With Experiential Commentary):
- Naturally Inclined Towards Criticism. Narcs tend to always pick others apart; so-called ‘narc-elders’ love to point out other Christian’s flaws and weaknesses while maintaining an attitude of superiority about themselves– they are HYPOCRITES, which Jesus hates, by-the-way. It makes them feel better to put others down rather than encourage them in the faith. They will use scripture try to ‘sledgehammer’ folks into-line; this is outright legalism that causes a person to stumble in their faith— the narc has blood on his hands for this kind of wicked behavior and will reap what he has sown.
- Laser Focused On You– Watching You Very Carefully. Micro-managing, ‘sledgehammering,’ looking for faults to use against you, etc.
- Only One Opinion Matters. They will invalidate you and use classic narcissistic ‘Word-Salads’ to drown out your position and force their position into your mind. The religious ‘narc-elders’ do this with what we call a ‘Bible Word-Salad,’ whereby they send out long emails with disjointed assertions and non-sensical theses, including lots of scripture, to validate their hypotheses (or so they think, LOL). After reading these word-salads you typically feel like you just wasted a bunch of valuable time for nothing. Essentially there is NO MEAT to these word-salads, they are just a narcissistic tool to attempt to take you off point and redirect your mind/attention towards the the direction the narc wants you to go.
- Splitting, Strong All Or Nothing Thinking. All or Nothing / Black or White. Either you are in agreement with the narc or they hate you. There’s no middle ground and they cannot deal with complexity.
- Simple Suggestions Produce Oddly Defensive Reactions.
- Self-Delusion Inhibits Adult Conversations. Narcs do not have a real love for the truth, otherwise they would be open to introspection and correction by other Christian Brothers (ie., Matthew 18), so, …they are in their own delusions and don’t even know it (2 Thessalonians). This a VERY scary place to exist as GOD put them there for their sinful actions and lack of accountability.
- Hijacking Conversations Constantly. They make it ALL about themselves- what they have done… ‘Lord, Lord, did I not hang ceiling fans and provide a wonderful house for her?!!!’
- Chameleon Engagements With Others. There are gross contradictions about their behavior and demonstrate their extreme hypocrisy.
- Hardly Ever Curious About You. They diminish you in their minds; however they will gather facts to use against you later on. They hold Dossier files on YOU! Our ex narc-elder has an email file-folder for each member in his CULT (past and present)- he files dreams, confessions and other items of interest to in these folders to later fabricate false narratives against his target-victims.
- You Need To Filter Your Relationships Through Them. These wicked narcs cut you off from others, i.e., family, friends, professional relationships like MONEY MANAGERS, etc. Anything to gain full control over their victim’s lives so they can more easily extort and commit outright fraud.
- Too Impressed By Others’ Power, Accomplishments, Credentials, Etc. As part of their ENVY they want to ‘saddle-up’ next to an accomplished person and ride their coat-tails for their own selfish agenda(s). I have felt this happen to me and I usually want to take a shower as-soon-as-possible.
- Lots Of Excuses For Their Own Problems. It’s always someone else’s fault. They hardly ever take ownership in any dispute. I.e., ‘Look at me, Sis,… I’m just fine and blessed, you must be the one at fault!’ These narcs are constantly the victim in their own eyes, when they themselves are the perpetrators and con-men,… they remind me of how used-car salesmen are perceived.
- Not Inclined Towards Patience. Again, these so-called ‘narc-elders’ demand perfection out of you and believe they can sledgehammer it into you through their legalistic ways. This is NOT Grace through Faith.
- Willing To Betray A Friend or Ally If They Can Get Ahead. They are the textbook definition of a TRAITOR and will stab you in the back the second they are done using you. THEY ARE LIARS and take NO ownership for their actions— however, they WILL reap what they have sown, in more ways than one,… and they won’t see it coming. J U D G M E N T cometh for these unrepentant fraudsters!
- Extremes With Time Management. They are either over-the-top stringent about time or unreliable at best.
The Good News is that we can commit to being on Team Healthy. Let’s stand for Balance, Reliability, Care, Honor and Faith.