Because narcissists are desperate to control you, establishing dominance, it is in their vested interest not to know about your humanity.
Do you feel like you have been used? Taken advantage of? Beware of false fruits of love disguised as justification to abuse, emotionally and spiritually.. 1 Corinthinans 13 is clear that if we bestow all our goods to feed the poor or needy, but have not love, it profiteth us NOTHING and we become as a sounding brass, or an annoying Tamborine! :o) [Inside nod/wink to those who have been ‘factioned-out’ by our ex narc-elder]
Dr. Les Carter describes how they rationalize their manipulations by viewing you in non-human ways. They don’t care about your feelings, your needs, or your back story. You are just someone to be used. While this is disheartening, as you understand their dehumanizing ways, you can avoid some of the hurt associated with their attitudes toward you.