This is a great video to help you understand the after-effects of narcissistic spiritual abuse. It helped me understand hollowing-out, sudden and intermittent despair and other effects of abuse at the hands of my ex narc-elder.
Many survivors of narcissistic abuse are confounded by the addiction they feel to the narcissist, long after the abusive relationship took a toll on their physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Make no mistake: recovery from an abusive relationship can be very similar to withdrawal from drug addiction due to the biochemical bonds we may develop with our toxic ex-partners.