Category: Narcissism

Narcissists, with their controlling, contrarian ways can emotionally wear you out. Dr. Les Carter cautions that as you are fatigued by them, bad habits can emerge, so he identifies the worst thing you can do to a narcissist as you try to find the better path. The bottom line is that you don’t need to become a mirror image of who they are.

Click >>> HERE <<< to watch the video.

Because of the dysfunctional ingredients that lay at the base of narcissism, it is certain that narcissists will generate all sorts of difficulties in their relationships. But, as Dr. Les Carter explains, they refuse to take responsibility for the problems they create. Instead, they use various tricks to make you look like the difficult person. Knowledge is power, so as you recognize their tactics, you won’t fall into their traps.

Check out the Video by clicking >>>HERE<<<.

1. Baiting You Into An Argument. Our ex narc-elder would use scripture to bait someone into an argument by asking: ‘You do believe that God can raise your wife/husband from the dead,… right?’ And when this person would say yes, he would say a prayer to raise their spouse from the dead; when it did not happen he would start blaming the widow/widower for not having faith. He would then argue that your dead spouse’s blood was on YOUR hands. Not a very Christian thing to do to a widow or widower, is it? This happened more than a few times with this narcissistic psychopath posing as a Godly pastor.
2. Insisting That You Have To Justify Yourself. Our ex narc-elder would say things to get you to defend or justify your position then use scripture word-salads to confuse and gaslight.
3. Shame You For Independent Thinking. Independent thinking was NOT allowed with our ex narc-elder; he established a ‘faction protocol’ where nobody in his cult could think outside his accepted dogma nor speak to anyone he deemed factious, especially outside his cult.
4. You Are Responsible For Their Moods.
5. Making Lame Excuses For Their Mistakes. Our ex narc-elder would make the most lame excuses when pressed about an obvious contradiction or blunder like: ‘Well, Bill I taught against a rigid church structure to prepare you for it.’
6. Intimidate You As You Have Boundaries. Our ex narc-elder would resort to intimidation and harassment when you set clear boundaries against him. He is a demigod therefore he feels he can interject himself in any relationship, especially marriages in which he likes to divide and sow discord.
7. Accuse YOU Of Being A Narcissist. Our ex narc-elder has been learning about narcissism since he’s being exposed recently; so he is talking about his enemies using ‘projection’ and other narc techniques when in-fact he is the one projecting. He thinks he is a double-agent, lol.

As we learn how to identify narcissism, it is helpful to know what the textbooks say about the topic. But to keep it real, Dr. Les Carter draws from his experience as a therapist, listing 15 of the most common lifestyle patterns that the textbooks don’t mention, but which will give you a crystal clear picture of what narcissism looks like in everyday circumstances. Check out the >>> video <<< from Dr. Carter.

>>> ALSO make sure you read the listed patterns below with OUR personal insight/commentary. <<<

Off Label Patterns (With Experiential Commentary):

1. Naturally Inclined Towards Criticism. Narcs tend to always pick others apart; so-called ‘narc-elders’ love to point out other Christian’s flaws and weaknesses while maintaining an attitude of superiority about themselves– they are HYPOCRITES, which Jesus hates, by-the-way. It makes them feel better to put others down rather than encourage them in the faith. They will use scripture try to ‘sledgehammer’ folks into-line; this is outright legalism that causes a person to stumble in their faith— the narc has blood on his hands for this kind of wicked behavior and will reap what he has sown.
2. Laser Focused On You– Watching You Very Carefully. Micro-managing, ‘sledgehammering,’ looking for faults to use against you, etc.
3. Only One Opinion Matters. They will invalidate you and use classic narcissistic ‘Word-Salads’ to drown out your position and force their position into your mind. The religious ‘narc-elders’ do this with what we call a ‘Bible Word-Salad,’ whereby they send out long emails with disjointed assertions and non-sensical theses, including lots of scripture, to validate their hypotheses (or so they think, LOL). After reading these word-salads you typically feel like you just wasted a bunch of valuable time for nothing. Essentially there is NO MEAT to these word-salads, they are just a narcissistic tool to attempt to take you off point and redirect your mind/attention towards the the direction the narc wants you to go.
4. Splitting, Strong All Or Nothing Thinking. All or Nothing / Black or White. Either you are in agreement with the narc or they hate you. There’s no middle ground and they cannot deal with complexity.
5. Simple Suggestions Produce Oddly Defensive Reactions.
6. Self-Delusion Inhibits Adult Conversations. Narcs do not have a real love for the truth, otherwise they would be open to introspection and correction by other Christian Brothers (ie., Matthew 18), so, …they are in their own delusions and don’t even know it (2 Thessalonians). This a VERY scary place to exist as GOD put them there for their sinful actions and lack of accountability.
7. Hijacking Conversations Constantly. They make it ALL about themselves- what they have done… ‘Lord, Lord, did I not hang ceiling fans and provide a wonderful house for her?!!!’
8. Chameleon Engagements With Others. There are gross contradictions about their behavior and demonstrate their extreme hypocrisy.
9. Hardly Ever Curious About You. They diminish you in their minds; however they will gather facts to use against you later on. They hold Dossier files on YOU! Our ex narc-elder has an email file-folder for each member in his CULT (past and present)- he files dreams, confessions and other items of interest to in these folders to later fabricate false narratives against his target-victims.
10. You Need To Filter Your Relationships Through Them. These wicked narcs cut you off from others, i.e., family, friends, professional relationships like MONEY MANAGERS, etc. Anything to gain full control over their victim’s lives so they can more easily extort and commit outright fraud.
11. Too Impressed By Others’ Power, Accomplishments, Credentials, Etc. As part of their ENVY they want to ‘saddle-up’ next to an accomplished person and ride their coat-tails for their own selfish agenda(s). I have felt this happen to me and I usually want to take a shower as-soon-as-possible.
12. Lots Of Excuses For Their Own Problems. It’s always someone else’s fault. They hardly ever take ownership in any dispute. I.e., ‘Look at me, Sis,… I’m just fine and blessed, you must be the one at fault!’ These narcs are constantly the victim in their own eyes, when they themselves are the perpetrators and con-men,… they remind me of how used-car salesmen are perceived.
13. Not Inclined Towards Patience. Again, these so-called ‘narc-elders’ demand perfection out of you and believe they can sledgehammer it into you through their legalistic ways. This is NOT Grace through Faith.
14. Willing To Betray A Friend or Ally If They Can Get Ahead. They are the textbook definition of a TRAITOR and will stab you in the back the second they are done using you. THEY ARE LIARS and take NO ownership for their actions— however, they WILL reap what they have sown, in more ways than one,… and they won’t see it coming. J U D G M E N T cometh for these unrepentant fraudsters!
15. Extremes With Time Management. They are either over-the-top stringent about time or unreliable at best.

The Good News is that we can commit to being on Team Healthy. Let’s stand for Balance, Reliability, Care, Honor and Faith.

Because a narcissist’s entitlement and need for control are so pervasive, their primary relationships cannot be sustained. But, as Dr. Les Carter describes in this video, as the unraveling of the relationship seems inevitable, instead of taking personal responsibility they build a case against YOU.

Our ex narc-elder is notorious for framing-up and building a case to smear anyone who would expose his wicked behavior; this systematic program of building a case against someone is part of his ‘faction’ protocol. He twists scripture to help build/maintain his false narrative against his target/victim, and isolate ANYONE from seeking the truth through multiple witnesses and actual evidence. As the saying goes, there is always TWO sides to any story- our ex narc-elder thwarts any attempt to hear BOTH sides. It is CULTISH!

Check out the following >>> video <<< by Dr. Carter explaining how narcs build these cases.