Category: Narcissism

Our ex narc-elder would blame-shift and frame-up his victims, weeks, months and even years ahead of his discard stage; he would justify his actions with the local congregation under the cover of ‘Church correction.’ He would throw folks he deemed ‘factious’ under-the-bus and reveal sins that were confessed/repented of years prior with the intent to smear, libel and turn the congregation against these individuals. It was very disturbing to watch him do these actions with a twinkle in his eyes and an evil grin on his face. :o)

Narcissists are difficult to interact with due to their controlling, entitled ways, but when they also have strong sociopathic tendencies, their dysfunction goes to an even higher level. Dr. Les Carter explains how sociopaths not only disregard you, but also societal norms in general. It is essential to understand how they think and operate so you can avoid the hurt they generate. Remember, narcissists FEED off of hurting you, like vampires.

How often have you felt manipulated by a narcissist? It has probably happened more times than you’d like to admit since manipulation is what they do. ALL Narcs play mind-games to gain an advantage over you. Dr. Les Carter describes 7 mind games commonly played by a narcissist, and outlines ways to stay clear of them.

Narcissistic abuse is about dominance and fear. When one person can make another person afraid of them in some way, it is then possible to create fear in them and control them using their emotions against them. Understanding what FEAR actually is can help us override our fear responses to some degree and help regulate them so that we become less reactive to the chain reaction fear is.

Trauma survivors are conditioned to respond to fear stimuli faster than others and that is not our fault. This is a survival response and can be helpful when we need to recall memories and reactions to fearful stimuli quickly. Trauma survivors go from 0-100 because their brains are conditioned to react quickly to painful stimuli and that is not our fault. Learning to think about our fear helps us slow down our fear reactions and thus helps us take better control over our lives.

Narcissists tend to attract people pleasers, or codependent personalities. Because codependents are eager to please, because they seek outside validation, they are easy targets for narcissistic lovers, and friends.

Narcissists like it when you feel dysregulated, when you harbor feelings of doubt and uncertainty. Dr. Les Carter describes how one of their favorite tactics is gaslighting you with loaded questions for the purpose of you second-guessing your good sense. But as you learn to spot those questions, you can then choose to stand in your good character, not allowing the narcissist a foothold.

Our ex narc-elder would often use loaded questions to gaslight and cause doubt then pummel his victim with what I call ‘Bible Word Salads’ to confuse and derail- the result was fear and confusion.

A very important video dealing with a Narc’s messages of rejection (or condemnation) and how you can overcome this classic form of gaslighting.

Our ex narc-elder used this form of gaslighting quite frequently; when I stood up and exposed him he turned the tables and played the victim to the local assembly while doubling-down in his efforts to smear me. It was (and is) all part of his coverup regarding his sins/hypocrisy. He truly is a wolf-in-sheep’s clothing, continuing his carnage of narcissistic spiritual abuse on current members of his cult.