If you have a little time, this is a good video to help understand how cults work.
Narcissism, Infidelity, and Relationship Motives
This is a good article why Spiritual NARCs almost always slip into infidelity (i.e., Spiritual Adultery).
So many of us become involved with narcissistic people who, when they feel threatened by infidelity, become inflamed, jealous, and act in all kinds of troublesome, even dangerous, ways… or fearing loss, may perform a variety of contortions to try to save the relationship.
False Prophets- Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing
[A good and applicable video for the times we are in… Just because your ‘elder’ may seem to preach truth, are you sure he’s not a wolf in sheep’s clothing?]
Here is a list of what Abusers/Narcissists usually do to their targets
[Note: this is not an exhaustive list of what these abusers will do. Check back as this list will grow.]
Insults their targets very often. Then lie when confronted about it, or say it was a joke.
When confronted with their behavior or sin, they pretend to be innocent and play the victim. (They will deny, deny, deny when their behavior/sin is presented to them. They will turn it around and say it’s your fault and you’re the one with the problem/sin)
Everything is always your fault, even when it’s obviously not.
They always have a justification for every bad thing they do. They think they’re always right. (They are uncorrectable; and when they HAVE TO, they will fill on their own sword in an attempt to gain sympathy from their brainwashed victims)
Very controlling, they tell you how to live, but they can live anyway they want – even in willful SIN!!! Very hypocritical.
They accuse you of what they’re doing to you (RED FLAG!), it’s called Projection.
Portraying themselves as angels outside, when they are actually DEMONS with their family and especially their target.
They want you to fail, while pretending to want you to succeed (they’re very convincing).
They never say they are sorry for hurting you (RED FLAG!). NEVER.
Poison your favorite activities, they don’t want you to be happy or to get pleasure. They also poison other useful activities like important skills which will help you in the future. They DO NOT want you to have skills, they want you to be as weak as possible. They don’t teach you anything. THEY ARE THE PARTY-POOPERS that nobody wants at their gathering.
Subtly (or overtly) lead a smear campaign against their target, so they isolate it and make sure they don’t get help. This will also keep others within the group to look at the target the same way the abuser does.
When you want to leave the relationship with a narcissist, they beg you to stay with them and cry crocodile tears. They are the best actors.
Sometimes nice, sometimes cruel. You never know where you stand with them.
They pretend to be “victims”, and they blame the target for their own behavior. They will create a kangaroo courtroom reality to their minions to foster an illusion supporting the abuser and his side of the story.
They are incredibly arrogant and sadistic. They see the target as weak, and deserving to suffer.
They think they are models to be followed. They say to follow them as they follow Christ. Sometimes they think they are Christ by statements inferring that they are ‘the stone which the builders rejected.’ Christ complex is apparent for those outside the cult matrix.
They are spiritually dead although they might loudly profess some kind of Spiritual Belief or self-professed Spiritual Authority,
What is Gaslighting? 9 Signs
[This is such an important concept to understand]