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Beliefs of a Toxic Faith [Series]

Let’s address some beliefs of a toxic faith system with real-world application/testimony.

  1. Conditional Love: God’s love and favor DEPEND on my behavior.

    While we strive to walk in the light of Christ, we often face the challenge of our flesh nature and sometimes fall short of the mark. The book of 1 John discusses this walk and the subsequent fellowship we have with Christ when we walk in the light- the result is a manifestation of cleansing from sin. By faith this was done at the Cross of Jesus Christ, but by manifestation we appropriate this grace, through faith in the finished work of the cross.

    Who guides us through this walk? Ultimately, the Holy Spirit. 1 John chapter two discusses that we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous- it is by faith in his sacrifice alone that we are accounted righteous in God’s eyes. It has been my experience of being in a toxic-faith-system that our ex narc-elder would say that God is love, but in application subtly promote seeing God as a critical parent, waiting to say: ‘It’s not good enough. You need to fast without food or water for 7 days so you may escape the coming passover angel, or you need to do better IF you want to make it into the ‘man-child’ company or the two witness company, or the bride company,’ Et. Al. This type of legalistic faith is so toxic that a congregation would turn to faith-in-self rather than faith-IN-God, a dependence on performance, not God’s wondrous love and grace through faith.

    THE ABOVE SUBTLE LEGALISM IS A TRAP, and can separate you from the grace of Christ according to the book of Galatians. Paul scolded the Galatian church, who started out in the Spirit only to end up in the flesh. Satan and his demons know that if they can get you into works/self-works for justification, they can bring you into bondage as you don’t have the power to overcome the flesh; when this happens they start condemning you through your thoughts, and other people– it is a vicious cycle, but it can be broken by the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and spiritual warfare.

    “for by grace have ye been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not of works, that no man should glory. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God afore prepared that we should walk in them.”  Ephesians 2:8-10

    The good works are a result of the power of God by grace through our faith in the finished work at the Cross. Is it that simple? We must focus on the cross and not look at the snake-bite, even if others are quick to judge, condemn us; we must encourage others to keep their eyes on the cross. Is it a battle? Yes, for we do not wrestle with flesh or blood…

    “For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world-rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”  Ephesians 6:12
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How Narcissists Dehumanize You

Because narcissists are desperate to control you, establishing dominance, it is in their vested interest not to know about your humanity.

Do you feel like you have been used? Taken advantage of? Beware of false fruits of love disguised as justification to abuse, emotionally and spiritually.. 1 Corinthinans 13 is clear that if we bestow all our goods to feed the poor or needy, but have not love, it profiteth us NOTHING and we become as a sounding brass, or an annoying Tamborine! :o) [Inside nod/wink to those who have been ‘factioned-out’ by our ex narc-elder]

Dr. Les Carter describes how they rationalize their manipulations by viewing you in non-human ways. They don’t care about your feelings, your needs, or your back story. You are just someone to be used. While this is disheartening, as you understand their dehumanizing ways, you can avoid some of the hurt associated with their attitudes toward you.

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How Sociopathic Narcissists Set You Up For Hurt

Our ex narc-elder would blame-shift and frame-up his victims, weeks, months and even years ahead of his discard stage; he would justify his actions with the local congregation under the cover of ‘Church correction.’ He would throw folks he deemed ‘factious’ under-the-bus and reveal sins that were confessed/repented of years prior with the intent to smear, libel and turn the congregation against these individuals. It was very disturbing to watch him do these actions with a twinkle in his eyes and an evil grin on his face. :o)

Narcissists are difficult to interact with due to their controlling, entitled ways, but when they also have strong sociopathic tendencies, their dysfunction goes to an even higher level. Dr. Les Carter explains how sociopaths not only disregard you, but also societal norms in general. It is essential to understand how they think and operate so you can avoid the hurt they generate. Remember, narcissists FEED off of hurting you, like vampires.

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Mind Games

How often have you felt manipulated by a narcissist? It has probably happened more times than you’d like to admit since manipulation is what they do. ALL Narcs play mind-games to gain an advantage over you. Dr. Les Carter describes 7 mind games commonly played by a narcissist, and outlines ways to stay clear of them.

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Be Afraid,… Be Very Afraid! (FEAR)

Narcissistic abuse is about dominance and fear. When one person can make another person afraid of them in some way, it is then possible to create fear in them and control them using their emotions against them. Understanding what FEAR actually is can help us override our fear responses to some degree and help regulate them so that we become less reactive to the chain reaction fear is.

Trauma survivors are conditioned to respond to fear stimuli faster than others and that is not our fault. This is a survival response and can be helpful when we need to recall memories and reactions to fearful stimuli quickly. Trauma survivors go from 0-100 because their brains are conditioned to react quickly to painful stimuli and that is not our fault. Learning to think about our fear helps us slow down our fear reactions and thus helps us take better control over our lives.

Narcissists tend to attract people pleasers, or codependent personalities. Because codependents are eager to please, because they seek outside validation, they are easy targets for narcissistic lovers, and friends.