Author: nathan_jehu

Check out this awesome book!  Here’s an excerpt from Chapter 11 of the book that is very revealing. :o)

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Should You Confront Your Leaders? 

If you are dealing with a normal, rational, and compassionate group of leaders, I would say, “Please, sit down with your leaders to discuss your concerns.” That’s the God-honoring thing to do. But that’s not usually the case with spiritual abuse. You have to play by different rules because the leaders use different rules! You might need to abandon protocol to protect yourself. Abusive leaders will often criticize you for mishandling the way you bring up the issue, putting you in a “no-win” situation, or, what some people refer to as a “double-bind.” If you say nothing, they will say, “If we are so bad, then why didn’t you say something?” But if you say something, they will criticize you for your rebellious spirit, or for not taking the proper steps to state your concerns, often accusing you of gossip and slander. Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t.

My answer to their criticism is, “When a house is burning, we don’t always do the right thing. Our fear can cause us to take missteps. Should we criticize the person trying to escape for using the wrong exit, or should we try to put the fire out?” When people are being hurt, the goal is to stop the abuse as quickly as possible. You have to decide for yourself if that means confronting the leadership or leaving. If everyone left, it would send a powerful message and probably get results quicker than a slow exit or trying to confront the abuse. Your response should equal the severity of the abuse. For a few strong individuals, probably in some level of leadership, they might feel called to stay to confront the abusers, guide the organization through dismantling the abuse, and rebuild the faith community, if possible.

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Here’s a link to get the book:

https://www.amazon.com/Broken-Trust-practical-spiritual-Overcoming-ebook/dp/B073491BLN